I hate my art

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I thought taking commissions was the smartest way for me to work.  I could do what I love and pay my bills.  But I've come to realize they were just holding me back.

Something would always come up that needed to be paid asap, so I would take a whole bunch of commissions and burnout halfway through.  Then people would be disappointed in me and drawing in general would just be a chore...  Sometimes it seemed like all those orders were some giant mountain.  I would eventually get them all done like way after I intended, slow as heck... and then not draw for weeks... until the next emergency.

It made me hate my art.  I've really felt crappy about it this last year and I didn't know why.  Now I realize.

For every 30 commissions I forced myself through, I could have done 100 arts I actually like.  I thought I was working smart by paying bills, but in actuality, I've been losing money.  Future earnings.

I haven't been growing much artistically.  I've been stuck doing the same old commission styles.  There's nothing new and exciting any more.  Commissions are great and I'm so thankful for them, but a lot of times they're characters I'm not inspired by so I'm just rehashing the same old crap since it's the best I can do in the moment.  People are always like, "oh, I love this drawing!  So cute!"  But it looks like a giant turd to me.  Because the vision I have in mind is so different.

If I had quit taking commissions and just worked for myself for the last year...  I would have increased skills and be able to earn so much more.  I could decide to never take commissions again, and rely on other avenues like youtube, or patreon, or finally get around to merchandising my brand...  So I've been losing money and wasting time.

That's stopping now.

I will still be taking commissions for a little while (it's nice to buy food, ja?), but in a totally different way.

They will no longer be first come, first served.  I will only take a commission if it's a character I connect with.

I'm not going to care about how much I'm making.  I remember when I first started deviantART, I improved in leaps and bounds, and I was so happy.  I was also selling art for less than a $1 an hour...

My focus will be experimenting with new techniques, and producing high quality art.  I'm so sick and tired of filling my gallery with these simple icons and crap.  It makes me happy that all my commissioners are happy and I'm so honored that they want to use my art, but I am capable of so much more.  My skills are already there I just never allow myself to practice.

I'm just so tired of the shallow meaningless drivel my gallery has been.

Spending almost a week on a major project, my Sweet Beans Species Guide, reminded me how much more fulfilling it is to push myself to the limit of what I can do.

So yeah...

Surprise Commissions $11 / 1000 :points:


It could be a cute little animation (normally charge $21), a simple chibi ($33), a flat colour chibi with a detailed background ($50), a realistic head shot painting ($50), a painting with a detailed background ($100+)... possibilities are endless.  You don't know what you will end up with.  Most likely you are getting an art worth waaaaay more than you paid.  And I am only accepting characters I am inspired by, and only taking a couple at a time.  There will no longer be a crazy wait time for your art to be done.  And YES I WILL BE DRAWING HUMANS!!!

What do you all think of this commission idea?  (It's not live yet, plz don't try to order, sorry!)

(I'm gonna go make a poll...)


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© 2017 - 2024 Sarilain
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eeveeeh's avatar
I understand this — and i would be interested in this. 


also if youre looking for things to draw — art trades are something I always find as good inspiration. Most people who do art trades also understand that art is more fun when you connect to the subject and usually have a wide range of topics they'd like you to choose from